Massive Amounts Of Craptactular Suckatude

You know, after all Mike Maroth did for the Cards, you would think they would at least give the guy some run support. But then again, if they would have done that, they wouldn’t be the 2007 Cardinals.

I can’t say enough good things about Mike Maroth. The dude was flat out bringing it last night vs the best team in the NL. He shut all the big boys down. Delgado, Beltran, Wright, Lo Duca. He kept Mr. Excrement off the base paths. And therefor totally useless all night long. For his first start with a new club he was outstanding. If he pitches like that for the rest of they year, the Cards flat out STOLE him from the Tigers. He had all his pitches working, he kept the Mets off balance all night long. And then he even picked off TWO runners at first! AND as if that wasn’t enough, he put down a sacrifice bunt, he smoked a ball passed the “best third baseman in baseball.” And he even stole a base. If fact, the only thing he didn’t do last night was turn the Gatorade in the dugout into wine. He was outstanding. Brilliant. Awesome. He was, dare I say En Fuego? He made only one mistake that the Mets were able to capitalize upon. And that cocky sonofabiach Gomez smoked it for a solo shot to left center. He is ATAW new favorite player to hate on the Mets.

All in all, Mike Maroth gave the Cards exactly what have needed all season long. He pitched into the 8th inning without giving up that many hits, or too many runs. If he keeps it up, the Cards will win a lot of his starts. Welcome to St. Louis Mike. I wish you would have gotten here sooner.

Unfortunately his new teammates didn’t roll out the welcome mat Mike deserved. Their approach to Jorge Sosa last night was joke. They would look at fastballs and hanging sliders, and swing at junk low and away, and up and in. The breaking point in the game was when Aaron Miles came up in with runners at 2nd & 3rd and only one out. Albert Pujols was on deck, and what does he do? Take a ball, Look at a fastball down the middle for a strike. Swing at a slider down and in and foul it off. Which is all he could have done with that pitch. Then he swung at a fastball up and away for strike three. So naturally the Mets walk Albert, bring in a lefty to face our clean up hitter Speezer, and with him batting from the right side, all his power is zapped. So naturally he hits a sharp grounder to the pitcher, and the Cards chances of winning that game were down to slim and none. The offense did nothing the rest of the game, and just like the Cards, went weakly into the night.

You really can’t blame Speezer there. That is not the situation he is expected to be in. He’s a bench player, and a bat off the bench that can provide some pop if he’s batting from the left side. No, I blame Scott Rolen, Jim Edmonds, and Tony La Russa for putting him in that spot. Scotty & Jimmy are hurt. Surprise Surprise! For the past three seasons, that’s all they have been good for. Being hurt, and under performing while playing when they are not hurt. Frankly we here at ATAW are sick and tired of their crap. It’s time for both of them to PUT UP or SHUT UP. Both of them are clearly shells of their former selves, and they just need to go away. And I blame Tony for not putting his second best hitter behind Albert like he did on Saturday. One Chris *Slam Dunk* Duncan. Why he was hitting so low in the batting order only Tony knows, and the wimps that cover the Cards don’t have the balls GOD gave a mouse to dare ask him why Dunk wasn’t hitting clean up. I mean COME ON TONY! He did it Saturday and hit a effing home run for Pete’s sake! WHY TONY? Why wasn’t Dunk hitting 4th????

UGH. I’m telling you folks, that’s the word of the season. UGH. Pardon the pun, but the 2007 Cardinals are not playing with a full deck. And how could they be with such massive amounts of mismanagement of player personnel? They keep effing up Anthony Reyes. The kid has no idea if he’s coming or going. They have two of their best players stuck in Memphis for some stupid reason, when they are desperately needed in the LOU. Rick Ankiel and JRod should be starting in center and right field. No questions asked. SO Old Gouch and Juan *Wood Chopper* Encarnasada ain’t cutting it. They are wasting at bats, and not playing up to the level of defense that the St. Louis Cardinals should be getting out of their outfielders. I’m sick of their crap, and I’m sick of the Cardinals weak ass excuses to why both players are not up with the big club. Honestly, how do the Cardinals expect to win one effing game with the personnel they keep putting out onto the diamond game after game after game? This is a JOKE. The freaking defending World Champions shouldn’t be trotting out a AAAA line up and expect their fans to think that’s the best they can do. I know our starting catcher, short stop, third baseman, and center fielder are hurt. I know our second baseman forget how to play the game. But these are things a team should plan for. And the lack of solid back ups falls squarely on the GM, and owners shoulders. They didn’t plan for all hell to break lose. They thought, and still do think falling ass backwards into a ring gave them free reign to just throw whoever the hell they felt like throwing out there to defend their title, and no one would care about the outcome. Well they were dead wrong. I care. And I for one am mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore.  

I seriously don’t want to watch tonight’s game. I really wish I had something better to do. It’s going to be a blood bath. The Mets are going to chew Welley up good, then spit him out. And then they are going to do the same to our tired bullpen. Mr. Excrement will be running his skinny ass all over the place, and dancing around like a euro trash clubber high on X all night long. Perez will be hopping his faggot ass all over the diamond. And I just don’t want to watch it.

I guess entries like this fall into the *gloom & doom* category HUGE called me out for writing a month ago. Well, if he can find anything to be hopeful about tonight’s game, I’m sure he’d share it with us. But he can’t, so he won’t. No one can. The Mets are going to sweep the Cards right out of the NYC this week, and probably end their season. ESPN will be fitting all their players for rings, and it’s just going to be one big craptastic load of suckatude that no human should have to endure.  

But I’ll watch it. Why? Because of the slight chance Welley learned something from watching Mike last night. And the O gets their head of of their asses and remember they are actually paid to hit the damn ball when the guy on the hill throws it at them. Because all we have left is hope. Hope that Jimmy & Scotty can find the fountain of youth. Hope that Carp & Marky Mark really are on the road back to the dominance we so desperately need to be on. Hope. All we have is hope. Go get ’em gents. Give them hell. Go down swinging.

Till next time this is Jonny Bone reminding every one that the light at the end of the tunnel, may be you. Good Day Now!

Always make it bounce.



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