WE ARE OFFICIALLY SCREWED

Short of Albert Pujols bum right elbow blowing up, the worst possible thing happened to our beloved St. Louis Cardinals late Monday afternoon when the club announced that Adam Wagonmaker Wainwright will be placed on the 15 day DL. You can read the full story here.

Yes folks, the Cardinals are officially screwed.

I know I’ve been absent a lot lately. And I apologize for that. The aftermath of my dad’s death has really left every one up here with a lot more questions than we have answers for. That along with some other recent news about a close friend has left yours truly with a sever case of writers block. I admit to being very distracted & just not in the mood to write. I just have a lot more pressing issues on my plate right now than keeping up this blog. And I’m really sorry that is how things are right now, because the Cards are giving us one heck of a season to talk about.

But enough of my drama. The Cards are in serious trouble & I don’t see how they are going to survive & be able to play at this high of a level for the rest of the season. Here now are the Cardinals pitchers who are currently on the DL.

Carp

Marky Mark Mildew

Wagonmaker

Joel Pineiro

IZZY

Matt Clement ( Yeah, I totally forgot about that dude too. He’s even made two rehab starts)

TJ

Kelvin Jimenez ( Yeah, he’s on the DL too. Shockingly it’s not for whiplash)

Josh Kinney

And our personal fave, Brad Puppy Kicker Thompson.

So there you have it. 10, count them TEN!! pitchers are currently on the DL. Back in 2005, Carp, Mildew, Wagonmaker, Pineiro & Clement would have been a hell of a starting five. This year, they are a big hell of a hole for MO, Tony & Dave to fill. Add on IZZY, Puppy Kicker & Kinny to the hill, and we have a,

CODE RED!

DEFCON 5 LEVEL EMERGENCY!

I honestly don’t know how the Cards are going to get through the rest of the season. LOOP & Lohse are the only two healthy starters left in the rotation. What about Welley you ask? Well, he may have gotten a “clean bill of health” from the Cards Dr’s & he’s going to join the rest of the boys down in the Natti later tonight. But take that with a grain of salt. You know I don’t trust a thing those guys say. So until I see him back on the mound pitching against the Phills, and doing as well as he has done so far this year, I’m not counting on him being healthy. Who is going to start for the Cards now? That’s a damn good question.

Mitchel Boggs makes his first ever MLB start tonight down in the Natti. Honestly I know next to nothing about the kid. I’m pretty sure he’s good, but I’m also pretty sure he’s not ready for the show. So tonight may be a long night ah la Parisi’s last two “starts”. After that, LOOP takes the bump Wednesday. Starting Thursday, the pitching picture get a whole lot cloudier for our Birds. Anthony’s name has been tossed around, but Tony & Dave want nothing to do with the kid & will fight tooth & nail to keep him down in Memphis. Jamie Garcia’s name has also popped into conversations, now this kid I like. He’s a lefty with a lot of tools. But is he ready? Probably not. But just like Boggs, the Cards may have no choice but to throw him to the dogs & see if he can fend them off. I even heard KMac’s name thrown out as a possible starter. That’s just plain foolish in my book. The kids been nails in the pen, and that’s what got him to the bigs in the first place. In case you didn’t know, he was a failed starter & once he went under the knife to fix his arm, he’s been in the pen ever since. And that’s where he should stay.

So what do the Cards do? I don’t know. I just don’t know. Hence my feelings of a major screwing about to hit us all smack dab in the face. Oh and did I forget to mention Ankiel’s been hurt, LUD’s come back down to earth, Troy is better, but that’s still not saying much. DUNK’s lost down in Memphis, maybe never to be heard from again. AK is still as flaccid with a bat in his hands as a 80 yr old man who’s Viagra has just worn off after a four day weekend spent with a hooker in VEGAS. (nice visual uh? you’re welcome.) Yet some how, some way the Cards are 38-27 only 2.5 games back of the almighty & unstoppable flubs.

How is that possible? With every thing that’s gone wrong so far. With TEN!! freaking pitchers on the DL, stars missing time due to minor injures, stars not playing like the stars they are supposed to be. Our beloved Cardinals are still right there in the hunt for the playoffs. To quote MO,

“To remain successful with so many pitchers sidelined is a real credit to them.”

Yeah MO, ya think?

So, again I ask the question what now? And again, I have no good answer. All I can say is good luck boys. Tony’s about to circle the wagons & give you the “us against the world” speech. Don’t tune him out, because you know what? This time, it really is. The deck is really stacked against you. The odds are not in your favor. The wolves are at your door. The sharks are circling the life boat, and there’s blood in the water. No one intelligent ever said life was easy or fair. And you are about to find that out the hard way. I wish you the best of luck, and I’ll be watching as much as I can. Heck I might even make it down to the Natti & catch a game this week. If I do, I better get some pics & some autographs.

Good luck, and God bless. You’re going to need it.

OK, that’s all I’ve got. I’m pretty beat up, and just like the Cardinals, there’s no quick fix, no help in site, no reinforcements spotted on the horizon. I can’t promise you I’ll be back soon, but I can promise you that I want to be. So for now, I’ll just leave it at that. I’ll see ya when I see ya.

Till next time, this is Jonny Bone reminding every one, yes, even you. That the light at the end of the tunnel, may be you.

Always keep makin it bounce.

PEACE.

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